


Wherein Two Palemates Discuss a Potential Kismesis, and Also One of the Moirails' Bulges, At Length.

by Asuka Kureru (Askerian)



Series: Sunlightverse [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/F, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, GH is crass as fuck, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pesterlog, Quadrant Confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 11:53:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/585132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askerian/pseuds/Asuka%20Kureru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-- tumblingCraniums [TC] started trolling codComplex [CC] --</p><p>TC: I AM SO MOTHERFUCKING SICK AND HELLS OF TIRED OF THAT FREAK-ASSED BLIGHTBLOOD NOT JUMPING ON MY FUCKING BULGE ALREADY.<br/>TC: so tired and sick<br/>TC: THE SHEER NERVE OF THAT SHINEBLOOD UPSTART DANGLING ME ON HIS BARBED STRING<br/>CC: A][a][a][a][a.<br/>CC: Don't tell me you still ][aven't gotten anyw][ere wit][ t][at ][uman.<br/>TC: WON'T FUCKING TELL YOU THEN<br/>TC: will keep my diamond shut in<br/>TC: GETTING ITS DUST AND CRACKS ON LIKE SOME BITCH SLAMMED IT INTO THE GROUND AND GROUND HER PRETTY HEEL ALL UP ON IT FOR GOOD MEASURE.<br/>CC: Fairly accurate!<br/>CC: O][ w][ale! I need somefin to laug][ at and you'll keep w][ining if I don't let you carp on. ][arpoon away.<br/>TC: thank you fucking KINDLY, palest bitchsister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wherein Two Palemates Discuss a Potential Kismesis, and Also One of the Moirails' Bulges, At Length.

**Author's Note:**

> Follows most directly [Outmoded](http://archiveofourown.org/works/499056).
> 
> That was NOT the Sunlightverse fic I was planning to post next, but oh well. XD;

\-- tumblingCraniums [TC] started trolling codComplex [CC] --

TC: I AM SO MOTHERFUCKING SICK AND HELLS OF TIRED OF THAT FREAK-ASSED BLIGHTBLOOD NOT JUMPING ON MY FUCKING BULGE ALREADY.   
TC: so tired and sick  
TC: THE SHEER NERVE OF THAT SHINEBLOOD UPSTART DANGLING ME ON HIS BARBED STRING  
CC: A][a][a][a][a.   
CC: Don't tell me you still ][aven't gotten anyw][ere wit][ t][at ][uman.   
TC: WON'T FUCKING TELL YOU THEN  
TC: will keep my diamond shut in  
TC: GETTING ITS DUST AND CRACKS ON LIKE SOME BITCH SLAMMED IT INTO THE GROUND AND GROUND HER PRETTY HEEL ALL UP ON IT FOR GOOD MEASURE.   
CC: Fairly accurate!   
CC: O][ w][ale! I need somefin to laug][ at and you'll keep w][ining if I don't let you carp on. ][arpoon away.   
TC: thank you fucking KINDLY, palest bitchsister.   
TC: THREE TIMES NOW THE RANCOROUS TEASE POLITELY FUCKING DECLINES A FUCKING DUEL  
TC: politely declines, sister.   
TC: THREE TIMES NOW THE NUBHORNED UNFRESH FUCK WILL NOT BE COWED EITHER.   
TC: I GET IT YOU ARE MOTHERFUCKING STRONG OF WILL AND STUBBORN AS A MULEBEAR NOW EITHER FIGHT ME OR ADMIT YOU ARE NOT IN MY LEAGUE AND I CAN MOVE THE SHITFUCK ON  
TC: preferably after shooting at least one load.   
TC: WHICH I AM DAMN WELL OWED AFTER THAT MASTERFUL BULGEBAIT LOATHSLUT ACT.   
TC: gonna start me thinking there's all manners of PROBLEMS with it.   
TC: my bulge I mean  
TC: is there?? :o(  
CC: T][at was one s][ort jam session! Offer rescinded for reason of your bulge.   
TC: aw bitchsis, gonna give me all manners of complexes. ALL MANNERS.   
TC: and WHO BETTER to talk out my complexes with than my fairest blindingest sunlit diamondho.   
CC: You want to tread carpfully wit][ t][e blackmail, you ][uge ][orny lump, afore I decide to trident off t][e source of t][e problem at t][e root.   
TC: I'LL BE RIGHT MOTHERFUCKING CIRCUMSPECT ABOUT WHERE I PUT MY FRONDS ON MY WAY TO YOUR SWEET JAMS, O DEAREST, DEADLIEST SNOWSTORM.   
CC: ][mmmm.   
CC: Of course t][ere's somet][ing wrong wit][ it, ass][oal, it's as oversized as t][e rest of you.   
CC: By t][e way if I see it again I'm CUTTING IT OFF.   
CC: T][at Kraken ][as no business leaping over t][e waves w][en I'm getting my swim on.   
TC: HONK HONK HONK  
CC: But do go on. Amuse me. Before boredom catc][es up.   
TC: only the best misfortunate humiliation for you, poisonsweet.   
TC: AS IF THE HUMILIATION OF MY REFUSAL -- THRICE -- AIN'T A MOTHERFUCKING GRAND JOKE ON ITS LONESOME.   
CC: It rat][er is! 38D  
CC: Details, my jester, lest I find you unfinny.   
TC: as you command, my cruelest, one jam of crushed bloodpusher and spade.   
CC: Like t][at wasn't w][at you waded of me all along.   
TC: and so it was. :oD  
TC: THE MAN WILL NOT FIGHT  
TC: but he will not flee.   
TC: THE MAN WILL NOT SNARL  
TC: but he will not shut his whore mouth.   
TC: THE MAN WILL FUCKING BEND OVER IN THESE TIGHT-ASS DRESS PANTS THAT MAKE IT SO NONE CAN THINK OF ANYTHING BUT THE UNDRESSING  
TC: but never take them off.   
TC: they never split either. Do:   
CC: ][a][a][a][a. 3XD  
TC: you laugh, my cruelest, and so do I, but my bulge sings another mournful, painful song.   
TC: can't feel my blighted shameglobes for all the ups and down he took me riding on.   
TC: ALL OF THEM MOTHERFUCKING METAPHORICAL.   
CC: Stop, stop, I'm in stitc][es, mig][t need a Bitc][ of Breat][ soon to put my gills back in. 3XD  
CC: Does ][e even understand you're courting ][im? I'm starting to wonder!   
TC: I don't get my knowledge on of how to make it clearer. Told all to the disgust got my digestion sac in knots seeing his half-hidden face and that ridiculous head ornament.   
TC: MOTHERFUCKER SAYS HE CAN CALL HIS SPAWN OVER AND CHECK ME OUT FOR SICKNESS.   
TC: and that wasn't returning the insult.   
TC: FUCKER MEANT IT.   
TC: he won't be provoked  
TC: HE WON'T BE COWED.   
CC: T][ere, t][ere. ][e used to be ][uman. T][eir ideas about proeper romance are disgusting. Bestial little t][ings, reely.   
TC: mmmmh. :o)   
CC: Urg][.   
CC: ][onestly if you N---E---ED me to go knock ][im over t][e ][ead and deliver ][im TI--ED UP FOR YOU I will be SAD, Makara.   
TC: WOULDN'T WANT HIM THAT WAY, NO FUCKING CHALLENGE MAKES FOR A BORING FUCK.   
TC: but maybe to get his attention  
TC: BE FUCKING INTERESTING TO SEE IF HE CAN BREAK FREE?   
CC: And if ][e can't.   
TC: ONE-NIGHT-STANDS STILL GET TO BE A MOTHERFUCKING THING THAT BE ALL WITH THE EXISTANCE IN OUR NEW SPARKLE UNIVERSE  
TC: what kind of PARADISE REWARD would that be otherwise  
CC: One w][ere we're P---ERV---ERT---ED into mockeries of ourselves and told t][is is t][e better option. T][at papery skin was bad enoug][. ][aving to stare all t][ose ugly s][ades in t][e face!   
CC: But GROWING LARVA--E INT--ERNALLY!!!!   
TC: CALM YOUR FINE-ASS MOTHERFUCKING TITS, SISTER.   
TC: they heave any harder you'll be out your last swimsuit.   
TC: AIN'T NO FUCKING STORM TO BE GETTING YOUR FLOATATION DEVICES HELLS OF WAVERY AT.   
CC: Don't you DAR--E S][OOS][ ME. I am your empress, and if I want to work myself into RIG][T---EOUS WRAT][ I WILL!!   
TC: ferrynough, my morayeel.   
TC: SUIT YOURSHELLF.   
TC: though shellfish to not wait until I'm here to get your craysea on with  
TC: YOUR GLORIOUS, ALL CONSUMING RAGE.   
TC: let us go in a blaze of glory, sister  
TC: LET US PAINT THE MOTHERFUCKING fishbowl.   
CC: ...   
TC: honk honk.   
CC: Some days I reely ][ate you.   
TC: Do:   
TC: water yacht squidding aboat.   
CC: T][at one was a stretc][. 38|  
TC: MY MOTHERGLUBBING APOLOGILLS FOR BEING ALL TO SO SHRIMPUDENT, BEACHSIS.   
CC: Consider yourself smackereled in your s][rimpudent mout][, you old seagoat.   
TC: I'll get my imagining right onto that.   
TC: CAN WE FUCKING GO BACK TO MY BULGE AND THE MOTHERFUCKING MATTER OF WHAT IS NOT ON IT NOW.   
CC: Can we carp about ][ow perc][aps you s][oald be abstaining because stupid as you are you'll fis][ GLUBBING GUT GUPPI--ES off your ][ot boatride.   
TC: ...   
TC: huh.   
CC: IND---E---ED, ][U][.   
TC: wonder what the spawn would come out all like.   
CC: ...   
CC: I WILL CULL YOU MYS][-----ELLF.   
TC: HONK HONK.   
CC: Bass][ole.   
TC: pale right back unto you, my sea queen, pale as bleached bone on whitest sand  
TC: OR BIRD SHIT ON BLACK ROCKS.   
CC: You know w][at, let's carp aboat your glubbing bulge!   
CC: T][at ][orrors][ow needs trimmed at quarter lengt][ if you want any c][ance of ackoiainting it wit][ anyone's nook in t][e rest of your life.   
TC: unfairly untrue.   
CC: And ][ope for a repeat performance.   
TC: :o(  
CC: In my B-EN-EVOL-ENC-E, and my dominion over t][eft of life small or large I will naturally offer myself for t][e operation. 38D  
TC: A NOOK IS FINE TOO.   
CC: If it's proportunal at all it'll be like t][rowing a sardine down a barrel.   
TC: :o(  
TC: MY SOUL BLEEDS UNDER YOUR CLAWS.   
CC: Your sole likes it.   
TC: that it does. <>  
CC: Now suckerfis][ it up and go mackerel on ][is gross smoot][-toot][ed ][atted face and stop blowing bubbles of useless in my face.   
TC: I ALL UP AND TRIED AT THAT, BITCHSIS, FUCKER DODGED SWEET AS A DREAM AND ASKED THAT I PERHAPS HAD NEED OF HELP LOOKING FOR LOST KEYS OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER WHAT.   
TC: need to get his attention and then keep it all nice and obsidian-sharp on me but the how of the thing escapes me. :o(  
TC: MOST FUCKING VEXATIOUS OF ALL THINGS.   
TC: the ebon minx.   
CC: Rig][t! Stop waxing poetry at me, it's offensive and also bad. Less carping, more strategy.   
CC: W][at do we know aboat ][im?   
TC: LIKES HIS FUCKING FACE-HIDING SHITHAT A BIT TOO REDLY.   
CC: Grab and burn it.   
TC: s'all caught on his mediocre button-horns and won't budge  
TC: PLUS HE HAS HIMSELF A METRIC SHITTON OF MORE OF THE SAME MOTHERFUCKING CAPTCHALOGUED, WHO THE FRESH RIPPING PURPLEFUCK EVEN DOES THAT.   
TC: I am asking you, sister, who.   
TC: A MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE OF THE HIGHEST ORDER IS WHO.   
CC: I told you no more waxing pitc][ in my ][earing.   
CC: Or sig][t, w][alever. W][at else?   
TC: secondmost thing is he's all to being a lusus.   
TC: A MOTHERFUCKING MOCKERY OF A TROLL WITH A NOOKFUL OF CODDLING INSTINCTS  
TC: neither pale nor red and they come before all else  
TC: BEFORE HIS MOTHERFUCKING VERY OWN SAME QUADRANTS THEY COME.   
TC: that is bilge-raising shit. sentient being all to cleaning wigglers' shit and risk his life for nothing at all save chirping squashed unfinished things, wasting his very self away.   
CC: Kidnap t][em. Make ][im come after you.   
CC: Also I liked it better w][en you were talking about ][is ass. Keep on ][ating ][is ass. I refuse to ][ear more about anyt][ing less substantial.   
TC: BUT IS A DOUBLE HANDFUL OF GLUTES MORE OR LESS SUBSTANTIAL THAN SOUL-DEEP OFFENSIVENESS OF BEING, O PALEST SISTER.   
CC: ...   
CC: Do not even T][INK t][e word serendipity. Do not set your fronds to keyboard, do not breat][e it w][ere t][e wind mig][t bring it t][ere, DO. NOT. T][INK. IT.   
CC: We will ][ear NON--E of t][is NONS--ENS--E.   
TC: ONE MIGHT GET HIS FUCKING IDEA ON THAT YOU MIGHT WISH WE HAD SETTLED ON A DARKER CORNER OF THE MATE GRID, AFTER ALL.   
CC: O][, like s][ell I do. We bot][ know w][ere we stand, and t][at's wit][ you kneeling at my feet.   
TC: and so we do.   
TC: BUT NEVER FEAR, HARSHEST OF WINTER QUEENS. REPEATED TUMBLING IS ALL I WANT FROM THE HUMAN, AND POSSIBLY A NICE LONG FUCKING SPAR TO SET MY MUSCLES BURNING WITH THE STRAIN.   
TC: and someone to dare take fronds to my horns again and pull. shit gets me wetter than the ocean in monsoon.   
CC: ARG][.   
TC: BUT KIDNAPPING A LUSUS' WIGGLER SEEMS TO ME TO SET FREE MORE OF THE KILLING URGE THAN THE MATING ONE  
TC: else we'd have been humped by all manners of things already.   
CC: You are gross.   
CC: Your bulge is gross.   
CC: Your ][atecrus][ is gross.   
CC: ][ow do you crawl out of t][e ooze every eelvening and not drown in your s][ame. I am conc][tantly amazed.   
TC: my bulge crowds it all out of the 'coon. :oD  
TC: ALSO I HAVE NO FUCKING INTEREST IN STRIFING THE WIGGLY SHIT-ASSED LITTLE MOTHERFUCKERS.   
TC: or did your thinksponge squeeze out the how of them being gods too.   
TC: MY STAR-HUED CONQUERATRIX.   
CC: O][, go pail yourself wit][ a rusty fork.   
CC: My advice suckerfis][es because I do naut care. T][at creature is not wort][y of you, ][is ][ue is repulsive and ][e is bland in everyt][ing else.   
CC: ... But if you ][ave set your course on pailing ][im.   
TC: :o)   
CC: I just ][ad t][e most krilliant idea.   
TC: I AM ALL AURICULAR SPONGECLOTS.   
CC: Go up to ][im and tell ][im.   
CC: "][orrible s][oes, wanna pail?"   
TC: ... no. )o:   
CC: "Let me take you to t][e bone-yard." 38D  
TC: NO. Do:   
CC: "Ride me like a ][oofbeast." 3 8D  
CC: "Your bass is so fine, let me ][it it from be][ind." 3;D  
TC: Do:   
CC: Coward.   
CC: Quadrantmates?   
TC: YOU KNOW OF THEM ALREADY.   
TC: the filth-blooded time witch and the broken traitor.   
TC: FLUSH AND PALE, WHICH IS FUCKING WHICH I DO NOT EVEN KNOW  
TC: nor do they.   
TC: SO RED I'D RETCH UP MY BILESACK ON THEIR FACES.   
CC: ... Rig][t.   
CC: Mess wit][ t][e Expatriate and ][e mig][t feel t][e need to avenge.   
TC: not the witch, palesis?   
CC: DO NOT TRY M--E.   
TC: WHY THE FUCK EVER NOT.   
CC: Because s][e would krill you AND I WOULD LAUG][.   
TC: because my queen would become jellyfish, all gluey and burning-hateful at her own prey stolen.   
TC: YOU'RE PITCH AS FUCK FOR THAT FINE BITCH, SISTER, BURNS YOU UP INSIDE.   
TC: tits not so fine as yours, but plenty worthy of a couple gropes.   
CC: I krilled ][er alreedy. S][e does naut care.   
CC: S][--E M---EANT FOR M--E TO WIN.   
TC: it burns now, doesn't it. like acid in your soul.   
CC: S][ut your crabtrap.   
TC: WHATEVER MY IMPERIAL MOTHERFUCKER DESIRES  
TC: whatever my queen wishes absolute orders shall they all up hopping to be  
CC: Makara.   
TC: :oX  
TC: Xo:   
TC: :oX  
CC: Your reediculousness is abysmal.   
TC: AS MOTHERFUCKING BEFITS THE JESTER OF THE EMPRESS OF DEPTHS UNKNOWN  
CC: I would cull you for lame if I wasn't so busy dealing wit][ t][at paralyzing case of SAURY FOR YOUR LAM--EN--ESS.   
TC: :oD <> <> <> <> <> <> <>   
CC: Taking it back. BRING YOUR TITANIC ASS ][-ER-E, I GOT A FORK TO STICK IN YOU.   
TC: ah, my diamond, such a pale fire you throw, lighting my nostalgia all up and on  
TC: WASN'T THAT THE MOST FUCKING PERFECT MEETING THERE EVER WAS.   
CC: T][e most RID--E--ELCULOUS, you mean.   
CC: I still do naut undersand w][y I didn't ][ave you culled in t][e end.   
TC: sure tried it nice and pretty. I wear your scars still.   
TC: NEXT TIME TRY STICKING ME IN THE OTHER SIDE, GET ME FUCKING BACK WITH THE MIRACLES OF SYMMETRY.   
CC: Nope! 38D It amuses me muc][ too muc][ ][ow you w][ine about it as it is.   
CC: Makara? I don't even know w][ere you are and I can still ][--EAR YOU LAUG][ING FROM ][--ER--E.   
TC: I got the most wicked mirth traveling through my pan, sister.   
TC: MAYHAPS WE OUGHTA GET OURSELVES A THIRD CONCILIATORY CHUCKLEFUCK, SO AS TO KEEP THE CLADE NICE AND EVEN  
TC: three of them pale and flush and a mess  
TC: THREE OF MOTHERFUCKING US, PALE AS THE STARS ABOVE AND A SHADOWBRIGHT ASHENMATE TO KEEP US SO  
TC: so as the expatriate will not languish unhated  
TC: WHO THE FUCK WOULD EVER HATE THAT WHINY LUMP ENOUGH, IS THE FUCKING QUESTION. )o:   
CC: A][A][A][A][A][A][A][A][A][A][A. 3XD  
CC: <>

\--

\-- caliperTerminus [CT] has joined memo --  
\-- aridAnachronism [AA] has joined memo --

CT: I wonder whether I ought to remind the Grand Highbl00d I am in earshot   
AA: all the island is in earsh0t th0ugh 0_0  
CT: And also close enough to see his screen though I wonder that I sh00ld offer to make him eye devices for the font size is   
CT: Somewhat l00dicrous  
CT: It seems a terrible invasion of privacy and yet

\-- bakingExpert [BE] has joined memo --

BE: Now, lad, I know your own name would catch your eye, but you'd best ignore this. Seems a rather childish pastime for such old ones, from what I can glimpse from my seat, and I think it better not to even wish to find out more.   
AA: for y0u yes pr0bably  
CT: Indeed  
AA: ill get psii to delete the l0gs  
CT: That is a remarkably efficient sol00tion yes thank you  
BE: Beg your pardon, chaps?   
AA: 0_0  
AA: n0thing  
CT: Yes quite nothing indeed  
BE: Are you really that troubled by their nasty gossip, now, old man?   
CT: Ah  
CT: Well  
AA: i can kill them f0r y0u  
CT: NO  
BE: NO!   
BE: Dearest, that is your answer to everything!   
AA: because it fixes everything  
CT: Oh dear  
CT: In this case it is anyway incorrect as the offense is too small to make such retribution just  
CT: They would revive  
CT: We would kick off a cycle of revenge  
AA: 0_0 s0  
CT: Handmaid I must strenuously recommend against that course of action  
AA: e_e  
BE: In any case, there are much better things to do with our evening!   
BE: Such as joining me in my house for some fine dining and perhaps a movie.   
BE: I hope you will not begrudge me my sad efforts at creating a suitable pile.   
CT: Ah  
CT: Is that  
CT: A date  
AA: 0kay  
BE: Thank you, Handmaid.   
CT: That  
CT: It would be an honor  
CT: Thank you yes  
BE: Splendid! I will be expecting you around midnight, then, you should be fully awake by then.   
BE: ... Are they laughing again? It must be nice to find such enjoyment in life.   
AA: at darkleers expense  
AA: are y0u sure i cant kill them a little  
BE: Very sure, yes, thank you. 


End file.
